Enough is Enough: New Avengers Illuminati #3 Review (Comics)
Posted on
Thursday, June 07, 2007
by Gary A. Ballard
My title is apropos. Enough truly is enough in comics, in this case the Marvel Universe (MU) of comics. I've endured a lot of really bad storytelling over the last few years from the Mighty House of Ideas. I've sat through House of M and Civil War, quietly dying inside as writers and editors have dismantled the great characters of the Marvel Universe and turned them into unrecognizable cardboard cutouts. But the worst part of all the changes made to the MU is that so much of it is needless retconning, or retroactive continuity. New Avengers Illuminati and its previous one-shot Illuminati have been the worst purveyors of the retcon sin, but the latest issue really has sunk into depravity. Warning: This review could contain spoilers and will contain bitter cynicism.
I'm not against retconning as a narrative device. Far from it, I think some of the best stories of the last 20 years in comics have been some form of retcon. Peter David's fleshing out of the Bruce Banner's childhood with an abusive and murderous father was a masterwork. Frank Miller's addition of Elektra into Matt Murdock's pre-Daredevil days was a well-executed set of stories. Mark Waid and Geoff Johns' use of the Barry Allen Flash at multiple points in the Wally West-era Flash was great fun. Even the resurrection of Bucky Barnes as the Winter Soldier in Ed Brubaker's Captain America was brought off with aplomb. But retconning has its dangers for writers with little respect for the characters they write. We have the examples of the dreadfully overlong Clone Saga in the pages of Spider-Man, or the ridiculous subplot of Gwen Stacy's mattress mambo with Norman Osborn. And of course, let's not forget Brian Michael Bendis' decision to make the Scarlet Witch so batshit insane she kills her husband and friends, gets tricked into recreating the entire world then decides to undo mutantkind which got us all into this Disassembled/House of M/Civil War mess in the first place.
Retconning must be done with care, with a delicate sense of the character's established history. And first and foremost, the change must make sense. The Illuminati stories have been utter failures in the sense category. Previous issues have seen the group attack the Skrulls without actual provocation, a subtle-as-a-hammer-blow-to-the-head dig at the moronic political philosophy of pre-emptive war being utilized by President Shrub. They've also decided to gather up all of the Infinity Gems into the Infinity Gauntlet, in order to be sure its either not used or is used by those with good intentions. That's supposed to be Reed Richards' idea, but I cannot reconcile that idea with my knowledge of the character. Yes, Richards has often been somewhat oblivious to human feelings, but he has never knowingly sought out such a quantifiable dangerous power source. Any of his brushes with that type of power have been accidental. For him to seek out the Gauntlets, he would need to have ignored their use in the past, a use he has fought against. Richards is never so arrogant as to believe he can decide on the proper use of power for the entire goddamn universe.
The latest issue sees our intrepid band of secretive assholes decide to seek out one of Marvel's worst characters in the history of comics, the Beyonder. The Beyonder was a great idea in its inception, a supremely powerful deus ex machina from "beyond the universe" who gathers heroes and villains on a Battleworld and makes them fight for his amusement and the ultimate power. Kept in the periphery of the original Secret Wars books, he worked as a disembodied voice. Secret Wars 2 made the mistake of trying to make an interesting character out of a being of that power, while also making sure to cross over with as many other books to boost sales across the line. It was a disaster from the word go, one that I'm afraid I fed by purchasing two copies of every issue, one to read and one to collect. That was my first real attempt at speculating, something I eventually gave up on, and something which led me to ditch "collecting" comics as an archival medium, preferring instead to treat them as reading material without the burden of bagging and boxing everything.
In Secret Wars 2, the character appeared with a terrible perm and white 80's jumpsuit, looking all too much like the series writer' Jim Shooter in my eyes. The story went beyond ridiculous, wrapping up with a huge battle royale in which the Beyonder allowed himself to be killed by Fantastic Four villain Molecule Man. His death created the galactic event which was the narrative link between all the New Universe line of books launched later that year. In short, the character was a foil for a great big editorial wankfest of crossovers and book launches, and it's widely regarded as fucking awful.
Not content with fucking up current stories, the Illuminati writers Bendis and Reed decide they'll attempt to make the Beyonder an interesting character. They fail miserably. Taking place between Secret Wars 1 and 2, the story finds the Illuminati sans Iron Man flying to some asteroid belt to talk with the Beyonder. Why? Professor Xavier has determined that the Beyonder is/was... wait for it... an Inhuman.
A MUTANT Inhuman.
For those familiar with the MU, that statement alone should cause unrestrained giggling if not outright guffaws. Inhumans are by definition mutants of a type anyway. They just aren't mutant mutants I guess. And the reader is supposed to believe that having the mutant gene AND being an Inhuman is somehow unheard of in the long history of the Inhumans. In addition, having a mutant gene and being exposed to the Terrigen Mists, the source of the Inhumans' abilities, would somehow make this Inhuman a godlike being from beyond the universe. Did Gwen Stacy have hot monkey sex with him as well? From that moment early in the script through the rest of the book, the silliness just tumbles off the cliff. Black Bolt, king of the Inhumans somehow knows this, but won't tell anyone what he knows or doesn't know. After talking with the Beyonder, who acts less like an oblivious godling and more like a 5-year old, Namor and Black Bolt give the Beyonder a bit of Imperious-Rex-sytle arrogance and order him out of their universe.
Dredging up the Beyonder screams of desperation. Having run out of good stories to retcon, I can only assume editorial has decided to try to unfuck the fuckups of the past as well. The only bright spot to the book is the artwork by Jim Cheung and Mark Morales. Their clean linework and judicious use of shadow is a stark contrast with the mess of the script, and their use of facial expressions is reminiscent of Kevin Maguire's excellent Justice League books of years past. It's just a shame these two got stuck visualizing a trainwreck of a story.
To Marvel editorial, please stop the retconning, for the children or something. I'd suggest trying to come up with new stories, but Civil War shows you can't be trusted with that either. With summer coming, I smell another crossover monstrosity in the works, which means I'll likely need copious amounts of Maalox to deal with the acid reflux World War Hulk will induce. Enough is enough, Marvel.
I'm not against retconning as a narrative device. Far from it, I think some of the best stories of the last 20 years in comics have been some form of retcon. Peter David's fleshing out of the Bruce Banner's childhood with an abusive and murderous father was a masterwork. Frank Miller's addition of Elektra into Matt Murdock's pre-Daredevil days was a well-executed set of stories. Mark Waid and Geoff Johns' use of the Barry Allen Flash at multiple points in the Wally West-era Flash was great fun. Even the resurrection of Bucky Barnes as the Winter Soldier in Ed Brubaker's Captain America was brought off with aplomb. But retconning has its dangers for writers with little respect for the characters they write. We have the examples of the dreadfully overlong Clone Saga in the pages of Spider-Man, or the ridiculous subplot of Gwen Stacy's mattress mambo with Norman Osborn. And of course, let's not forget Brian Michael Bendis' decision to make the Scarlet Witch so batshit insane she kills her husband and friends, gets tricked into recreating the entire world then decides to undo mutantkind which got us all into this Disassembled/House of M/Civil War mess in the first place.
Retconning must be done with care, with a delicate sense of the character's established history. And first and foremost, the change must make sense. The Illuminati stories have been utter failures in the sense category. Previous issues have seen the group attack the Skrulls without actual provocation, a subtle-as-a-hammer-blow-to-the-head dig at the moronic political philosophy of pre-emptive war being utilized by President Shrub. They've also decided to gather up all of the Infinity Gems into the Infinity Gauntlet, in order to be sure its either not used or is used by those with good intentions. That's supposed to be Reed Richards' idea, but I cannot reconcile that idea with my knowledge of the character. Yes, Richards has often been somewhat oblivious to human feelings, but he has never knowingly sought out such a quantifiable dangerous power source. Any of his brushes with that type of power have been accidental. For him to seek out the Gauntlets, he would need to have ignored their use in the past, a use he has fought against. Richards is never so arrogant as to believe he can decide on the proper use of power for the entire goddamn universe.
The latest issue sees our intrepid band of secretive assholes decide to seek out one of Marvel's worst characters in the history of comics, the Beyonder. The Beyonder was a great idea in its inception, a supremely powerful deus ex machina from "beyond the universe" who gathers heroes and villains on a Battleworld and makes them fight for his amusement and the ultimate power. Kept in the periphery of the original Secret Wars books, he worked as a disembodied voice. Secret Wars 2 made the mistake of trying to make an interesting character out of a being of that power, while also making sure to cross over with as many other books to boost sales across the line. It was a disaster from the word go, one that I'm afraid I fed by purchasing two copies of every issue, one to read and one to collect. That was my first real attempt at speculating, something I eventually gave up on, and something which led me to ditch "collecting" comics as an archival medium, preferring instead to treat them as reading material without the burden of bagging and boxing everything.
In Secret Wars 2, the character appeared with a terrible perm and white 80's jumpsuit, looking all too much like the series writer' Jim Shooter in my eyes. The story went beyond ridiculous, wrapping up with a huge battle royale in which the Beyonder allowed himself to be killed by Fantastic Four villain Molecule Man. His death created the galactic event which was the narrative link between all the New Universe line of books launched later that year. In short, the character was a foil for a great big editorial wankfest of crossovers and book launches, and it's widely regarded as fucking awful.
Not content with fucking up current stories, the Illuminati writers Bendis and Reed decide they'll attempt to make the Beyonder an interesting character. They fail miserably. Taking place between Secret Wars 1 and 2, the story finds the Illuminati sans Iron Man flying to some asteroid belt to talk with the Beyonder. Why? Professor Xavier has determined that the Beyonder is/was... wait for it... an Inhuman.
A MUTANT Inhuman.
For those familiar with the MU, that statement alone should cause unrestrained giggling if not outright guffaws. Inhumans are by definition mutants of a type anyway. They just aren't mutant mutants I guess. And the reader is supposed to believe that having the mutant gene AND being an Inhuman is somehow unheard of in the long history of the Inhumans. In addition, having a mutant gene and being exposed to the Terrigen Mists, the source of the Inhumans' abilities, would somehow make this Inhuman a godlike being from beyond the universe. Did Gwen Stacy have hot monkey sex with him as well? From that moment early in the script through the rest of the book, the silliness just tumbles off the cliff. Black Bolt, king of the Inhumans somehow knows this, but won't tell anyone what he knows or doesn't know. After talking with the Beyonder, who acts less like an oblivious godling and more like a 5-year old, Namor and Black Bolt give the Beyonder a bit of Imperious-Rex-sytle arrogance and order him out of their universe.
Dredging up the Beyonder screams of desperation. Having run out of good stories to retcon, I can only assume editorial has decided to try to unfuck the fuckups of the past as well. The only bright spot to the book is the artwork by Jim Cheung and Mark Morales. Their clean linework and judicious use of shadow is a stark contrast with the mess of the script, and their use of facial expressions is reminiscent of Kevin Maguire's excellent Justice League books of years past. It's just a shame these two got stuck visualizing a trainwreck of a story.
To Marvel editorial, please stop the retconning, for the children or something. I'd suggest trying to come up with new stories, but Civil War shows you can't be trusted with that either. With summer coming, I smell another crossover monstrosity in the works, which means I'll likely need copious amounts of Maalox to deal with the acid reflux World War Hulk will induce. Enough is enough, Marvel.
posted by Gary A. Ballard @ 9:45 AM
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