Raging Douchebag Week: Day 5
Posted on
Friday, April 27, 2007
by Gary A. Ballard
It's the final day of Raging Douchebag week, and today's super-duper winner is from the stratified air of corporate America. The 2k's have given us great examples of Corporate Raging Douchebaggery, from Enron to Worldcomm, from Haliburton to IAP. But today's Raging Douchebag is a real lowlife from the high reaches of Mount Corpratus. Presiding over a Fortune 500 company is hard, what with lavish bonuses for profits made on the backs of everyday Americans struggling to make ends meet. There are so many Americans to fuck over, yet this one managed to do a number on multiple states worth. The penultimate Raging Douchebag is State Farm Insurance Companies' Chairman and CEO, Edward B. Rust, Jr.
What did Edward do to deserve this honor? Let's flash back to August 2005. The states of Mississippi, Louisiana and Alabama are donkey-punched, raped and sodomized by the titanic queen bitch Hurricane Katrina, leaving billions of dollars in damages, and thousands without homes. The entire Mississippi Gulf Coast is ground zero, with whole towns wiped out. Homeowners across the Gulf from New Orleans to Mobile dry their tears and attempt to rebuild their lives, starting with their houses. Many of these houses were destroyed by storm surge, a combination of high winds and 22-foot waves thrown almost a mile inland.
So what's an insurance company CEO to do? Does Mr. Rust stand up and proudly proclaim his company's sympathy with the victims, throwing all the corporation's resources into paying claims as quickly as possible, knowing that an insurance check is all the money these people will see for months? Does he rush down to the dead zone and lend a hand to the rebuilding efforts? No, he and his subordinates did everything they could to deny as many claims as they could. How could he do such a thing? The way most corporate weasels do, with legalese and an army of lawyers. Most home insurance policies do not cover flood damage, requiring a homeowner to purchase separate flood insurance. Homes not considered to be in a floodplain are not required to have flood insurance. Mr. Rust, or some toadie reporting to him, decided sight unseen that houses caught in the storm surge were not wind-damaged but flood-damaged instead, and thus claims on those houses were rejected. There is even evidence that he pressured an engineering consulting firm to change reports on said claims, altering the report's conclusion to fit with State Farm's previous assessment of flood damage over wind damage.
Once the state of Mississippi's Attorney General filed suit against State Farm to fight such a heartless piece of shitcockery, Mr. Rust decided that Mississippi was just too expensive a state to do business in. State Farm has refused to sell any new home owner's policies in the state, depriving more people of the helping hands of a good neighbor. But what really earns Mr. Rust this award, what really sets him apart from the other shitheel corporate douchebags infecting this country with their stink is State Farm's bottom line.
In 2005, the year Katrina caused all that damage, the year State Farm had to pay a significant amount of claims despite their douchebaggery over Katrina victims, in 2005 State Farm posted a PROFIT of $3.24 BILLION. Let that sink in for a moment. $3.24 BILLION. That ain't chicken feed, that's serious money. Even more galling is that 2006 was a record year for State Farm, who posted profits of $5.32 billion. That's not revenue numbers, that's profit. And who benefited from those monster years built on the backs of homeowners across the Southeast but Mr. Edward B. Rust, Jr., garnering an 82% RAISE in March of this year, making a total of $11.66 million in 2006, including a results-based bonus of $9.89 million. Are you fucking kidding me? This asshole rapes and pillages homeowners in my state and others, turns his back on them just long enough to shit upon their heads from a very high distance, and he gets rewarded with millions for his work? How many of the homes he refused to cover would that money rebuild? I'd measure it by the fuckload.
So for all that you do, Mr. Edward B. Rust, Jr. and your entire shit-eating company State Farm, I award you with the title of Raging Douchebag Pro Tempre. I hope your millions allow you to sleep warm and well, because there's thousands of residents of Gulfport, Biloxi, New Orleans and countless other towns in Katrina's swath that won't because of you.
What did Edward do to deserve this honor? Let's flash back to August 2005. The states of Mississippi, Louisiana and Alabama are donkey-punched, raped and sodomized by the titanic queen bitch Hurricane Katrina, leaving billions of dollars in damages, and thousands without homes. The entire Mississippi Gulf Coast is ground zero, with whole towns wiped out. Homeowners across the Gulf from New Orleans to Mobile dry their tears and attempt to rebuild their lives, starting with their houses. Many of these houses were destroyed by storm surge, a combination of high winds and 22-foot waves thrown almost a mile inland.So what's an insurance company CEO to do? Does Mr. Rust stand up and proudly proclaim his company's sympathy with the victims, throwing all the corporation's resources into paying claims as quickly as possible, knowing that an insurance check is all the money these people will see for months? Does he rush down to the dead zone and lend a hand to the rebuilding efforts? No, he and his subordinates did everything they could to deny as many claims as they could. How could he do such a thing? The way most corporate weasels do, with legalese and an army of lawyers. Most home insurance policies do not cover flood damage, requiring a homeowner to purchase separate flood insurance. Homes not considered to be in a floodplain are not required to have flood insurance. Mr. Rust, or some toadie reporting to him, decided sight unseen that houses caught in the storm surge were not wind-damaged but flood-damaged instead, and thus claims on those houses were rejected. There is even evidence that he pressured an engineering consulting firm to change reports on said claims, altering the report's conclusion to fit with State Farm's previous assessment of flood damage over wind damage.
Once the state of Mississippi's Attorney General filed suit against State Farm to fight such a heartless piece of shitcockery, Mr. Rust decided that Mississippi was just too expensive a state to do business in. State Farm has refused to sell any new home owner's policies in the state, depriving more people of the helping hands of a good neighbor. But what really earns Mr. Rust this award, what really sets him apart from the other shitheel corporate douchebags infecting this country with their stink is State Farm's bottom line.
In 2005, the year Katrina caused all that damage, the year State Farm had to pay a significant amount of claims despite their douchebaggery over Katrina victims, in 2005 State Farm posted a PROFIT of $3.24 BILLION. Let that sink in for a moment. $3.24 BILLION. That ain't chicken feed, that's serious money. Even more galling is that 2006 was a record year for State Farm, who posted profits of $5.32 billion. That's not revenue numbers, that's profit. And who benefited from those monster years built on the backs of homeowners across the Southeast but Mr. Edward B. Rust, Jr., garnering an 82% RAISE in March of this year, making a total of $11.66 million in 2006, including a results-based bonus of $9.89 million. Are you fucking kidding me? This asshole rapes and pillages homeowners in my state and others, turns his back on them just long enough to shit upon their heads from a very high distance, and he gets rewarded with millions for his work? How many of the homes he refused to cover would that money rebuild? I'd measure it by the fuckload.
So for all that you do, Mr. Edward B. Rust, Jr. and your entire shit-eating company State Farm, I award you with the title of Raging Douchebag Pro Tempre. I hope your millions allow you to sleep warm and well, because there's thousands of residents of Gulfport, Biloxi, New Orleans and countless other towns in Katrina's swath that won't because of you.
posted by Gary A. Ballard @ 11:06 AM
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