The 30-Minute MMOG Rules
Posted on
Monday, January 08, 2007
by Gary A. Ballard
I love MMOG's. I love them with a passion. And like all love, my passion for the perfect MMOG has led me to cross that thin barrier betwixt the love of MMOG's and my absolute hatred for what MMOG's have become. I've played almost every major MMOG released, either in beta or after launch, since Everquest's release in 1998. When it comes to the subject of MMOG's, I have been there and indeed, I have done that. I have not been subscribed to any MMOG since at least the summer of the previous year, and the various betas I've experienced since that time have failed to attract more than cursory looks. Those dismissive glances have been followed by equally dismissive growls until I finally hit the last stage of MMOG acceptance, despondency. That stage is heralded by an exhausted sigh.
These evaluations often take little time, most on the order of thirty (30) minutes. Why so little time? Because like all games, if I am not captured in the first thirty minutes of play, there's precious little else an MMOG can show me that will capture my heart in the addictive, lifestyle-changing manner that the original Everquest did. Thus, I give you my 30-Minute MMOG Rules. Any transgression against these rules in the first thirty minutes of play will cause me to place your MMOG in the mental trash bin where lie cancelled subscriptions and abandoned betas.
Why only thirty minutes? Thirty minutes is long enough to learn the basic controls and get a feel for the gameplay at least enough to competently slaughter your first monster or solve your first quest. Even the most complicated, deep games will yield at least some glimmer of their true mechanical nature within the first half hour of play. Games which do not are over-complicated and often not worth the trouble except for those with OCD and time on their hands. The key to interesting gameplay is simple MMOG mechanics with intuitive interfaces which slowly unveil added breadth over time, whether that breadth be in more quests, more skills, more crafting or some other form of content.
Notice that the social dynamics of the MMOG are not mentioned once in that list of criteria. The social aspects of MMOG's, while vastly important for the so-called "stickiness factor" are not the game. The social dynamics of MMOG's are their own set of games, almost none of which are actually designed or even understood by the developers. These social games develop of their own accord, designed consciously and unconsciously by the players themselves. While these games lengthen player subscriptions, if the gameplay from the first thirty minutes is not compelling, no player will ever join in the social dynamics game. Thus, the MMOG that fails to generate interest in the first thirty minutes never forms proper social structures.
First Rule of the 30-Minute MMOG:
Involve the player actively. MMOG's have for too long relied on the auto-attack style of gameplay, whereby the player hits a button and watches his avatar perform a pretty picture show of motion bereft of all but the most infinitesimal of input from the player. If I'm involved in combat in the first thirty minutes (and I should be), make me feel involved, whether that be twiddled many buttons or making meaningful decisions about how such combat should be undertaken. I'm not saying that "twitch" or button-pushing gameplay is absolutely required, but I had better damn sure be given some activites to accomplish. If at any point I can look away from the screen for thirty seconds or longer during combat and not be afraid of having my ass handed to me, your MMOG has failed.
Second Rule of the 30-Minute MMOG:
Don't make me Billy the Rat-Catcher. At no point in the first thirty minutes of an MMOG should I be killing a rat unless said rat is three times larger than my avatar or there's a damn good reason for it. Rats are not fearsome creatures, New York City rats notwithstanding. This rule uses rats as its motif, but really, any harmless, potentially cute woodland creature should not be the target of my martial ambitions. The only reason I should be hunting rabbits is that I've been hired for good money to kill, skin and prepare rabbits, and don't even get me started on squirrels. If the hardest thing my opponent eats is a goddamn acorn, I will not feel my avatar is being threatened.
Third Rule of the 30-Minute MMOG:
Take this important note to your trainer. I realize that all MMOG's need some form of newbie tutorial that teaches the player how to move around, get quests and interact with friendly NPC's, but the "IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO HOGETH HORNBLOW!" style of quest has been done to death. For that matter, quests which involve me transporting a letter from one NPC to another across lands that are not filled with the deadliest of enemies should never be labeled important. Ever. If the letter that the major wants to get to the general is that goddamned important, why is a rank newbie who still can't figure out how to equip their cheap ass armor being given the task? Do I really want to aid an army that entrusts critical dispatches up and down the chain of command to a potential idiot? I think that army should really just be lured into a canyon and put out of its misery. An important message is Paul Revere's ride, not Pee Wee Herman's trip to the corner store.
Fourth Rule of the 30-Minute MMOG:
Give me a shiny. I realize that MMOG's focus a great deal on the acquisition of material goods, but it is what it is. Getting shiny doodads kicks off a rush of endorphins in even the crustiest of brains. Whether that shiny be some spiffy-looking armor or a weapon above the level of butter knife, showing the player that he can expect useful, regular upgrades to his apparatus is good. It doesn't even have to be incredibly potent. A +1 something of something still says "I'm getting better." On the other hand, not giving me at least a little happy in that first thirty minutes means you plan on dribbling the goods out to me at a trickle for as long as you can keep me hooked on that morphine drip. Nobody likes a stingy pusher.
Fifth Rule of the 30-Minute MMOG:
Other players are the devil. While MMOG's are meant to be social experiences, the experience of dealing with the unwashed masses of other clueless newbs like yourself can be off-putting. Letting those same unwashed masses spew their stupid zonewide is a mistake. After all, I'm trying to learn how not to get killed by the swarms of rats I'm required to best, hearing homophobic dribble and all-caps verbal slapfights about how much paladins do/don't suck makes me want to load shotgun shells and cruise the mall for the Abercrombie & Fitch labels. Even worse is letting other players kill me. I'm a big fan of PVP, but having DJ Humperspittle club me to death like a little baby seal when I still don't know what button to hit to open a chat window sends me to the cancellation screen.
Sixth Rule of the 30-Minute MMOG:
Familiarity breeds contempt. Standardized interfaces are a good thing. Standardized gameplay is not. There isn't a great deal of difference between the hotbutton rows of World of Warcraft and Everquest, but the play is a good bit different due to the speed of the combat and the context of the combat. Nothing makes me run screaming from an MMOG faster than thinking "I've played this game before." Vanguard's beta is an egregious example of this. During the entire thirty minutes I played, I couldn't help but feel I was still playing the first Everquest, only with shinier graphics and shittier performance. As much as I loved Everquest for the two and a half years I played, that is no longer a flattering comparison.
Other things will put me off an MMOG for good, but none so much as these rules. Take heed, developers. You'll be spending an awful lot of money to give me thirty minutes of unending contempt.
These evaluations often take little time, most on the order of thirty (30) minutes. Why so little time? Because like all games, if I am not captured in the first thirty minutes of play, there's precious little else an MMOG can show me that will capture my heart in the addictive, lifestyle-changing manner that the original Everquest did. Thus, I give you my 30-Minute MMOG Rules. Any transgression against these rules in the first thirty minutes of play will cause me to place your MMOG in the mental trash bin where lie cancelled subscriptions and abandoned betas.
Why only thirty minutes? Thirty minutes is long enough to learn the basic controls and get a feel for the gameplay at least enough to competently slaughter your first monster or solve your first quest. Even the most complicated, deep games will yield at least some glimmer of their true mechanical nature within the first half hour of play. Games which do not are over-complicated and often not worth the trouble except for those with OCD and time on their hands. The key to interesting gameplay is simple MMOG mechanics with intuitive interfaces which slowly unveil added breadth over time, whether that breadth be in more quests, more skills, more crafting or some other form of content.
Notice that the social dynamics of the MMOG are not mentioned once in that list of criteria. The social aspects of MMOG's, while vastly important for the so-called "stickiness factor" are not the game. The social dynamics of MMOG's are their own set of games, almost none of which are actually designed or even understood by the developers. These social games develop of their own accord, designed consciously and unconsciously by the players themselves. While these games lengthen player subscriptions, if the gameplay from the first thirty minutes is not compelling, no player will ever join in the social dynamics game. Thus, the MMOG that fails to generate interest in the first thirty minutes never forms proper social structures.
First Rule of the 30-Minute MMOG:
Involve the player actively. MMOG's have for too long relied on the auto-attack style of gameplay, whereby the player hits a button and watches his avatar perform a pretty picture show of motion bereft of all but the most infinitesimal of input from the player. If I'm involved in combat in the first thirty minutes (and I should be), make me feel involved, whether that be twiddled many buttons or making meaningful decisions about how such combat should be undertaken. I'm not saying that "twitch" or button-pushing gameplay is absolutely required, but I had better damn sure be given some activites to accomplish. If at any point I can look away from the screen for thirty seconds or longer during combat and not be afraid of having my ass handed to me, your MMOG has failed.
Second Rule of the 30-Minute MMOG:
Don't make me Billy the Rat-Catcher. At no point in the first thirty minutes of an MMOG should I be killing a rat unless said rat is three times larger than my avatar or there's a damn good reason for it. Rats are not fearsome creatures, New York City rats notwithstanding. This rule uses rats as its motif, but really, any harmless, potentially cute woodland creature should not be the target of my martial ambitions. The only reason I should be hunting rabbits is that I've been hired for good money to kill, skin and prepare rabbits, and don't even get me started on squirrels. If the hardest thing my opponent eats is a goddamn acorn, I will not feel my avatar is being threatened.
Third Rule of the 30-Minute MMOG:
Take this important note to your trainer. I realize that all MMOG's need some form of newbie tutorial that teaches the player how to move around, get quests and interact with friendly NPC's, but the "IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO HOGETH HORNBLOW!" style of quest has been done to death. For that matter, quests which involve me transporting a letter from one NPC to another across lands that are not filled with the deadliest of enemies should never be labeled important. Ever. If the letter that the major wants to get to the general is that goddamned important, why is a rank newbie who still can't figure out how to equip their cheap ass armor being given the task? Do I really want to aid an army that entrusts critical dispatches up and down the chain of command to a potential idiot? I think that army should really just be lured into a canyon and put out of its misery. An important message is Paul Revere's ride, not Pee Wee Herman's trip to the corner store.
Fourth Rule of the 30-Minute MMOG:
Give me a shiny. I realize that MMOG's focus a great deal on the acquisition of material goods, but it is what it is. Getting shiny doodads kicks off a rush of endorphins in even the crustiest of brains. Whether that shiny be some spiffy-looking armor or a weapon above the level of butter knife, showing the player that he can expect useful, regular upgrades to his apparatus is good. It doesn't even have to be incredibly potent. A +1 something of something still says "I'm getting better." On the other hand, not giving me at least a little happy in that first thirty minutes means you plan on dribbling the goods out to me at a trickle for as long as you can keep me hooked on that morphine drip. Nobody likes a stingy pusher.
Fifth Rule of the 30-Minute MMOG:
Other players are the devil. While MMOG's are meant to be social experiences, the experience of dealing with the unwashed masses of other clueless newbs like yourself can be off-putting. Letting those same unwashed masses spew their stupid zonewide is a mistake. After all, I'm trying to learn how not to get killed by the swarms of rats I'm required to best, hearing homophobic dribble and all-caps verbal slapfights about how much paladins do/don't suck makes me want to load shotgun shells and cruise the mall for the Abercrombie & Fitch labels. Even worse is letting other players kill me. I'm a big fan of PVP, but having DJ Humperspittle club me to death like a little baby seal when I still don't know what button to hit to open a chat window sends me to the cancellation screen.
Sixth Rule of the 30-Minute MMOG:
Familiarity breeds contempt. Standardized interfaces are a good thing. Standardized gameplay is not. There isn't a great deal of difference between the hotbutton rows of World of Warcraft and Everquest, but the play is a good bit different due to the speed of the combat and the context of the combat. Nothing makes me run screaming from an MMOG faster than thinking "I've played this game before." Vanguard's beta is an egregious example of this. During the entire thirty minutes I played, I couldn't help but feel I was still playing the first Everquest, only with shinier graphics and shittier performance. As much as I loved Everquest for the two and a half years I played, that is no longer a flattering comparison.
Other things will put me off an MMOG for good, but none so much as these rules. Take heed, developers. You'll be spending an awful lot of money to give me thirty minutes of unending contempt.
Labels: MMOG, Video Games
posted by Gary A. Ballard @ 12:30 PM
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